JoMo100

I hold it in for a minute, I wait until the coast is clear, Im going to do it tonight, What have I left to fear? Im holding it in my hands, The impliment pressed against my skin, Im definately doing it tonight, I need to kill the pain within. But I stop for a moment, I pause with tears down my face, Imagining my mothers woe because of all this, I'd be another family disgrace. If only I had the will power not to care anymore, If only I could close my eyes and just dissapear, The pain would all go away from inside of me, My mind would be fresh and clear. My eyes are like glass now, Im moving in a zombie like way, Life continu

Where has those girls gone? The girls who were so much fun, They made me laugh, They made made me smile, But Ive not seen them in a while. Why has she left life behind? Shes chosen badly in my eyes, Settling down far too soon, I cant believe shes dissappearing, When she speaks now I cant believe the things Im hearing. Trees are no longer climbed, Knees and elbows are squeeky clean, She has lost her magic spark, Now shes judgemental, Shes become so mean. All those magic people I used to know, Theyve left me behind as Ive watched them grow, But theyre not smiling, Their teeth have no gleam, And they like to take it out on me.

Time is wasted on me, I dont deserve it, Its precious gift is thrown away, I waste it knowingly. But I cant stop, I cant get out of this miserable cycle, Will you talk to me today? Should I talk to you? I wonder around in my head, Will it happen again? What is it about her thats better than me? How can I be happy again knowing your not mine? Wasted youth, Wasted thoughts, Time spent wishing instead of living, Hours not lost...but wasted. I know this is happening, I hate that Im doing this to myself, But I cant stop, Time continues to be wasted. I need rescuing, Take this hatred from me, Destroy this worry and self tormen